Ramblings : Getting lost to truly find myself
Where do broken hearts go? A question frequently asked by Madam Whitney. And in my case, it was Baguio. This pine haven is where I’ve always wanted to live in since I set foot in the Philippines from my hometown of West Covina, California. Baguio was reminiscent of my childhood. The cool breeze and the serenity of being away from the daily stressful hustle and bustle of Metro Manila were just like how my surroundings were in West Covina.
You see, West Covina was an ample distance away from LA, Beverly Hills, Sunset Drive, Hollywood Hills and all that California was known for. It was quaint and lovely. Its weather was just right. And moving from the Cali to the Philippine Islands was a drastic change for me, resulting to sudden asthma attacks, both bronchial and skin. Luckily, my dad introduced me to Baguio City. There I fell in love with the place. There I saw the beauty of nature but still not too distant from the real world because it was very much well-developed as a city should be. It wasn’t too provincial for a West Coast gal like me but still had the whole countryside vibe to it. And I figured Baguio City is the closest I can get to living in comfort for my holistic well-being.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I bet you’ve been wondering where I’ve been since August. Been under the radar and lost track of all my reviews needing my attention. Lots of life-changing events happened and it is only now in mid November that I found solace to start writing again.
I’ve decided to move on… to my happiness.
I’ve decided to follow my heart. What is that, you ask? Believe it or not, it’s something as simple as living quietly in the middle of serenity that is Baguio City.
For 15 years, I’ve prioritized my family as any mother was expected to do. My family was near perfection but ‘twas only this year that I realized that I lost myself in the process of taking care of them. I lost my goals and my own happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I have no complaints because I love my family and I would devote every single moment of my life to them if need be. But it’s only now that I realized that it’s not right to lose yourself in this journey. Moms/Wives shouldn’t feel guilty to set time to focus on herself and her goals. So, I’ve packed our stuff, carried the family with me and left Metro Manila behind. It wasn’t easy and I don’t expect it to be any easier but hey, it’s done.
I’ve set my foot down and demanded to prioritize myself or at least be on my list. I wanted to live in an ambiance that would better my mindset, my heart and my outlook every single effin’ waking day.
And here I am now, sitting in a café tucked away in the forests of Baguio City… with the chilly air nipping at my cheeks, the smell of pine trees grazing my nose and my feet snug warmly in leather boots.
I am ready to start over. Start over in a place that will bring me back to serenity… In a place that would help me recover from life’s cruel whips… In a place that would help me be at peace.
And my dear readers, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate where you are at this point in your life and just remember to never hesitate or feel guilty to love yourself because everyone deserves to bask in their true happiness.
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